Do you and your sweetheart have wildly different ideas about what clutter is? Do you find yourself fed-up and frustrated by their organizing “style”? Do you feel like they’re trying to take over the world one surface at a time or leave things out just to piss you off?

Stress between couples over clutter is very common. Here are a few Valentine’s Day tips to manage the stress with your loved one.

What doesn’t work:

• Purging behind their back
• Nagging
• Storing empty boxes on surfaces to prevent their things from landing there
• Surprising them with a gift certificate from Crime Scene Cleaners
• Deciding that if they can be cluttered, you do them one better and be messy yourself

What does work:

• Realize that it’s not about right vs. wrong… it’s about compromising BOTH your styles because you’ve chosen to share space together.

• Agree to de-clutter together. Set a shared goal that you both agree will improve the quality of the home. Make a game plan and work together to implement it.

• Give each person a dedicated space (a room or a portion of a room) that they can control completely.

• Take responsibility for managing your own clutter before trying to “fix” your partner.

• Get objective outside help: use an organizing book, online resources, a couples therapist or a professional organizer.

What easy-to-tackle project could you and your Valentine take on that would create a little more space at home?