The dream of having more children provides a strong incentive to hang onto all kinds of outgrown clothes, equipment, books, toys, and supplies. Why re-buy things you already own and can use again?

But the dream is sometimes fraught with emotion and uncertainty.  This makes the connection between the dream of more children and the reality of loads of baby stuff more powerful. Often the desire is to keep everything is in conflict with the amount of space you have or your plans to move or downsize. The stuff can also be a psychic weight, even if you have room to store everything your children once used.

A client recently went through the emotional process of deciding to let go of most of her saved baby things WITHOUT releasing her dream of a second child. To get through the psychology of her process here’s what we discussed:

• How easy it would be to re-acquire most of the basic equipment and supplies – through friends, FaceBook, NextDoor, Freecycle, Craigslist, etc.

• How to envision her community as her attic/garage

• Which items felt truly personal and special – not so easy to replace – and how those could be kept

• Reaffirming that letting go of the stuff DIDN’T mean letting go of the possibility of another child

Here is her summary of the results:

I got rid of all my baby stuff this weekend!! Everything in these photos!! I just kept repeating your mantra: “my community is my container” and gave most everything to a friend having a new baby and a neighbor and the rest is being picked up on Freecycle. It was SO freeing!!

We often link our aspirations with the “stuff” that goes with them… having an exercise machine will make me exercise, having art supplies will make me more likely to be creative, etc. In reality, our own internal readiness and motivation is the ONLY thing that will generate action.

When you’re ready, the necessary stuff can be acquired. And often, things can be replaced for little or no money — if you’re willing to seek what you need from the many, free and resale outlets available in the Bay Area. This leap takes a lot of trust in yourself and the outside community.

Take a look around and challenge yourself to release things that are the products of dreams past or future, but taking up valuable space in your reality right NOW.